How to Fake Real Beauty by Ramy Gafni

A trick of the light

Eye to eye, blend in, stand out

Wash your face away

How to Fake Real Beauty: Tricks of the trade to master your makeup

by Ramy Gafni

Running Press 2015, ISBN 9780762455980

Makeup. The filter that we physically apply. The prism that bends the light of perception. The extra dimension of dress that eludes most men. Indeed, if you muster the potential to influence the senses of makeup, dress, poise and fragrance with aforethought, you must concede the possibilities of augmented reality in our midst. And does that not make the world a more interesting place? I am calling for the spontaneous generation of new subcultures with signature wardrobes and scents. And makeup, of course.

How to Fake Real Beauty by New York celebrity makeup pro Ramy Gafni is a heavily and well-illustrated 140 odd page overview of judicious makeup use [as an aside, 'makeup'? 'Makeup' makes more sense to me than 'make up', which is what some cosmetics companies now use, but maybe my brain has been Germanified. Boots has both 'makeup' and 'make-up'. Make up sounds like something you'd do after you forgot an anniversary.] which covers fake complexion, vivacity, BIG EYES, eyebrows, contouring (now it's getting really arcane), tan, smile, GREAT hair, and 'day face'. It comes in that 8.5x8.5 format and let me just say, it's really nicely put together; great job Running Press et al.. 

As applied to myself, I have always thought that Ovid had the best advice about personal grooming i.e. keep it to a respectable minimum, which is certainly easier to follow than the vast-seeming cosmetics industry and its products and practices (my closest brush with makeup was a very fast turnaround in hair and makeup being transformed or rather touched up into a mud bespattered medieval serf). But that's also rather boring. Thank God for Women and the Extra Dimension, then. And while having always been peripherally aware of women applying makeup, and appreciating that some things are in fact better left a mystery, and as far as I am concerned, women can and should stay mysterious, as a translator, homo sum, and at the risk of shattered illusions it is time for you and me both to step behind the veil.* ** 

"The trademarked philosophy of Ramy Cosmetics is Minimum Makeup, Maximum Impact!" – the Minimum Effect Dose, if you will. At once, scientific and therapeutic lights dance before ones eyes and one wonders – is makeup Art or one of the subtler expressions of an evolutionary arms race? What is the lowest dose of makeup that provides patients with a therapeutic benefit? Or, – Το λακωνίζειν εστί φιλοσοφείν? 

Cosmetics have a certain appeal in the much the same way as traditional cigarette packaging and football stickers: small size, glamour, collectability (Chanel – 'makeup' – currently offer, at my count, 13 ranges of lipstick in more than twenty shades), and Ramy takes nothing away from this classic cross-consumerist gear acquisition aspect with his curated minimalist makeup kit and invocation of the Pareto Principle: "There are a few basic shades they will use 90% of the time." For is there anything better than acquiring gear if not acquiring gear then whittling it down to an essential, curated core? 

And to speak of whittling down, is makeup adding to or exposing an essential core of beauty? "My objective is always to create classic beauty where the makeup doesn't draw attention to itself," – I recall a conversation many years ago: "Men don't like too much make up," to be answered by "You like it even less when we're not wearing makeup." While different standards of beauty exist, RG always has his eye on bringing out the best in certain features, a lesson imbibed in his origin story and introduction to the transformative effect of makeup; and, when a battle with grave illness later robbed him of his appearance in possibly the vainest place in the world, the realisation that "makeup has the power to truly transform a person and how we are perceived by others. After all, in a few simple steps I was able to fake looking healthy while living with cancer!"

The way Ramy describes his vision of improving someone's makeup is intriguing, a process that involves stripping away excess to highlight the key features that has an obvious harmonic interpretation. Which is also a harmony of effort: "The words 'it takes a village' were never truer than as they apply to beauty, as any actress or model will attest," leaves me wondering who has more resources expended on them – a runway model or a Premier League footballer. Of course, not all in either the beauty or the sports entertainment industries is sweetness and light: "I find that in the beauty business there are beauty bullies that tear you down instead of building you up... beauty should build you up, make you feel more confident, and, most important, make you feel like your best self." Hear, hear!

Vision is one thing, praxis is another and one tip out of many that I'm sure are sage for your complexion stands out to me: drink 8 cups of green tea a day. Can do no wrong, can it? And a true piece of makeup wisdom: stop using a magnifying mirror to find flaws! Stare too long into the mirror and body dysmorphia stares back at you. Also, use a steam room for your pores (I have never seen a Finn with a bad complexion). So, while there are all kinds of cosmetics you could use, you can also simply relax and have a cup of tea. 

To maintain a youthful appearance, RG lauds Botox and fillers as well as standard scrubs and ointments. But don't overdo it. "You run the risk of looking like a blowfish." Truly, the beauty salon and the gym have much in common. Interesting assertion: "Usually the feature you hate most (we all have one) is your best asset." 

… At this point the barrage of primers, foundations, etc is starting to overwhelm me, like one of those torta recipes that require 4 days and 100 different steps... and as we move onto eyes I can only concede my admiration for the effort and artistry involved and confess that contact lenses are enough of a challenge for me. The amount of time and tools taken up... perhaps the male equivalent is trimming a beard or moustache, but it doesn't really compare. As for eyebrows... it all seems very, very complicated, which is perhaps why some girls have their eyebrows 'done' – and can you blame them? Especially if the full expressive power of the brow is even half or a quarter as much as Ramy claims, even Guybrows™. If Ramy had been available, would we now be looking back on the Healey 80s? If Moore had extended a helping hand – or arch – in '76, would the Treasury have deferred to the ineffably sleek political machine that Healey could have become? Or would an Eyebrow Makeup Fund intervention have been a Samsonite waking nightmare? The raised brow is frankly begging for thorough sociological investigation.

And now it gets even more complicated: contouring. "Contouring is all about light and shadow. Highlighter brings features forward, and contour creates depth." At this point, I feel like Team B discovering some new and game changing Soviet weapons capability. Women wake up and casually apply Renaissance 3D perspective with no more than a dab of ointment? I can barely type until I've had 5 coffees. Let's swiftly move on to tans, teeth, and hair. Hair tips: older women aren't flattered if their hair is as dark is it was in their teens. "Every man I've ever met who used hair spray regularly is bald or balding. Draw your own conclusions." Ramy's mom: "I never cry over my hair and nails because they always grow back!" Apparently, Linda Evangelista's career was SKYROCKETED by a more flattering, shorter haircut. I can only tell you that one of the few, possibly only times someone complemented my hair, it was greasy because I hadn't washed it for days. Natural body oils, perhaps, truly are the answer.

Now we move on to 'day face', that is, the 'no makeup' look mentioned above.

And the Afterword: a reminder that less is more. And to build and blend. I can't help but think of constructing a piece of music. It's remarkable, when you think about it, that there are people out there every day creating their own harmonies, and rarely might one consciously appreciate it (I am now looking at a picture of a celebrity and listing the all sorts mentioned in this book that went into their appearance – the contouring genie is out of the bottle).

Is makeup Art? Certainly yes, just as certainly as Ovid lives on. 

*https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/laboratory/testingchemicals/cosmetics

**https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0039914021005634

© Bryn Roberts 2023

Published 16 June 2023