Gear Gallery

TRASH or TREMENDOUS?

If there is one thing that distinguishes humans from animals, it is not mere politics or language, but rather: obsessing about gear. Why, even, did proto-humans develop language? So they could argue about gear. Why did political systems develop? The development of language led to early proto-console-wars: river pebbles versus excavated flints were the Nintendo vs Sega of the time. Pandora's Box was actually a dim ancestral memory of this moment. This legacy, both genetic and psychomemetological, is carried within every translator to this day. To operate at peak efficiency, to approach nearer yet to perfection, each translator strives for the best gear:

Reading light

For me it's John Lewis' "Zadie LED Task lamp". Having been through several different bulbs, lamps, and LED lamps (e.g. from IKEA and LIDL) over the years, I only felt satisfied once I got my hands on a pair of Zadies. They screw onto shelves (and only very rarely get loose), the switch makes a very satisfying *thunk*, and the lamp itself is easy to put in a good position, stays there, and it gives out a great white light for reading. A Zadie cost about £30 when I got mine. Sadly, it doesn't look like you can get Zadies anymore, but they have a lamp which I imagine amounts to something somewhat close at least.

Verdict: IT'S TREMENDOUS (if you can get it)

Book stand

Another notch in the Bonds belt, John Lewis "Oak Cookbook Stand" is figuratively and literally the elevated option that will leave your years of using a Nokia or a TV remote control to weigh down the pages of a book a dark footnote to your new enlightened life. Another item that isn't available anymore in the version I have, but the version they do have looks practically the same, and for little more than I paid, £32. The great thing about it is that it is both fairly hefty and fairly thick, to accommodate a thick book, something which a lot of book stands are incapable of doing. Be they capable, many fail to prevent the book torquing its way out. In years of heavy use, I am happy to confirm that the only thing that has given me a headache with this bookstand is the contents of the text, never hundreds of pages 'releasing' themselves on a collision course with a glass of wine that is in turn towering over a laptop keyboard.

Verdict: IT'S TREMENDOUS

English-German dictionary

I've owned PONS, I've owned Langenscheidt, I've tried Oxford, but when it came time to, not replace, but supplement my tried and true Open University Collins German Dictionary Plus Grammar, I plumped for the Collins German Dictionary. Online dictionaries may be more convenient, but if I really want to nail a word, I turn to Collins. You can count on Collins.

Verdict: IT'S TREMENDOUS

Biscuit

As the translator reaches the apogee of efficiency, nutritional intake may be streamlined to cigarettes, coffee, and the King of Biscuits: PLAZMA.

Verdict: IT'S TREMENDOUS

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